Recently updated on October 8th, 2017 at 05:55 pm
During my own time in Mainland China I have worked with a lot of local Chinese companies and Chinese executives. In this context I’ve found that saying no or refusing a request can be very difficult, especially to the uninitiated.
What methods of saying no in China have worked the best for you? Are there any additional methods of saying no which you have had success with?
–By Sean Upton-McLaughlin 马培善
Ricard Gomez: Well, interesting comments, but i living and working in China almost 10 years ago, and when i need say “no” just say “no”, no problem, but Japanese people is different about this question.
Sean Upton-McLaughlin 马培善: Thanks for commenting Ricard. You make a good point in that currently (and in the past) many expats in China do not have too much of a problem of saying no more directly to the Chinese.
However, as Chinese domestic companies spread their wings (and grow more powerful), and as Western companies try and do more business in the Chinese Mainland interior (where many companies are more traditional and less Western) its possible that things will change. Most people hope that China will become more internationalized, but its also possible that with more power China will want to do things “the Chinese way” more often and comprise less. IF that is the case, then saying no the Chinese way would become more important to Western business people.
Nothing is set in stone but I feel its an interesting point that bears consideration.
Adrian Allen: I always try to base things on the 7 degrees of “yes”. There is the “yes” that means definitely not, and the “yes” that means here is the deposit. Maybe one option is to say yes, but then offer an alternative plan, solution, or option. A bad deal is always a bad deal especially if it is related in any way to cost. You can always use “Yes but” in such cases as in yes but if we do that then that will increase your costs because…Interesting point about Chinese companies becoming more international in their outlook. Whilst. China exports a lot not many companies have an international approach. The Chinese way works well in China, but especially in marketing terms it is often immature. For China to be really successful companies need to have a much clearer understanding of their target markets. The idea of low cost from China is pretty well a thing of the past and so when you cannot sell with a strategy based on price alone you have to move up the value chain and become truly international. Ideally a hybrid approach taking what is good from both cultures could create the ideal answer.
Sorry to go slightly off subject!
Lorenzo Panizzari: I was in China for two years, for the start-up of a Plant, and I was responsible for Procurement, Quality, Production Plan, Human Resources and After Sales Service.
I can’t explain how I said “no”, because of IMHO the behavior and the speech have to be different for different situations.
I found very helpful the (multiple) reading of these two
Graduate School of Business, Stanford University
Research Paper No. 1649, October 2000
Michael W. Morris and Ho-Ying Fu
How Does Culture Influence Conflict Resolution?
A Dynamic Constructivist Analysis
The Journal of Applied Behavioral Science, 2003, 39
Michael Miles
Negotiating with the Chinese: Lessons from the Field
In the web you can find both in pdf
Bernhard Wessling: I say “no” quite often also in China, now since 9 years. I know, Chinese have a problem to say “no”, but I don’t have it.
Sure, I do not bluntly say “NO” and after that nothing else, I wrap it in a nice “bag” of explanations and other words. for me, this is mostly not a commercial discussion, but a technical one, so quite often we discuss whether or not a technical problem can be caused by this or by that root cause. Or whether or not one should make this or that test checking whether the problem can be resolved.
Quite often, my counterparts have strange opinions why this happened or what to do next for business practice in China. If not really a bad counterproductive proposal, I would say “good idea, maybe we do this and in parallel another option”,, and then I explain the mine.
If really bad, then I would be mute for some while and think (also for finding the best words), then say “I thought about it, but my impression is that maybe it would be better and would lead quicker to a solution if …”
Also, sometimes I apologize (speaking Chinese for a few minutes) that I am a German and I am known for being direct and we don’t have time now to discuss with a long detour, so please allow me to directly say “NO, this is not a good idea”, and then I explain why.
All these 3 approaches I am also using when discussing with Japanese, Korean, Malaysian, Thai … and also when talking with Americans!
Jimmy Wong: Hi all,
Interesting topic and it certainly highlights the differences in culture. I grew up in the west, in the UK to be exact, and have been living and working in China/Hong Kong for almost 20 years now.
Having been used to a simple and polite way of saying “No”, it was quite frustrating when I got to China to hear so many vague answers which all lead to “NO”. Over the years, I’ve got use to it and I would in fact go tend to go this route with my Chinese partners. It’s always good to leave options on the table, save face and come up with alternative options, than a straight NO. Just my opinion!
Jimmy Fu: Say directly No or I don’t want it or I don’t have it or I don’t agree with you, etc.
Sean Upton-McLaughlin 马培善: In my experience, one interesting thing is that despite similar upbringings and shared cultural values, some Chinese people end up preferring more Western style communication methods (e.g. being direct), even if they have never been abroad. While its not common, I think it shows that individual personality can have influence as well.
Brian Mallyon: Sean,
I do tend to agree with the comments you have made as they relate to not wanting to be as direct as saying “no”.
However, I do also tend to wonder when we talk about doing this or that in China, how many of these things are really a “Chinese” thing. An example would be talking about how important it is in China to establish relationships in doing business, whereas it can be said that is an important aspect of doing business anywhere with anyone. Perhaps there are different degrees, but still important.
A couple of points-
1. In your last comment, you, yourself have suggested some Chinese prefer the “western” method of communication so how can it then be that there is a distinct way to say no in China?
2. Of the methods you have highlighted, I could say that I have seen each and every one of those methods used often in the “western” world when communicating in business. I would go as far as to say that there is a large number that either don’t like to hear the word “NO”, or they don’t like to be the one saying it. We have become so precious that we cannot bear to be told something directly.
What we (and I mean that as business people, not as different groups such as Chinese or western) need to understand is that to be effective and credible, we need to be clear and concise in all our dealings.
Being vague not only causes misunderstanding and inefficiency, it creates doubt about honesty and integrity.
I for one, would much rather be told “no”, with a good reason why not, rather than some answer that makes me unsure of the intentions of the other person.
Giora Golan: Well in my China experience (just came from more than 3 years in Shenzhen and enjoyed every minute there). I saw some of the comments above and yes it is hard to know when yes means yeas. Sometimes people mean yes but later change their mind. My experience is to understand why the Yes will be good for the other side,also see if they continue to communicate with you or just become silent after their yes(which means no or not now). also try to get the yes in some written way it does help to clear things. … and above all the more you know the person the more you understand his answers and or this we need to spend time which seems to few of my western managers(some executives) as waste of time which is not the case in China.
Usually my comments to my senior managers that most of the time think that they understand China is ” My advantage after spending 3 years in China that I understand that I don’t understand China”.
Glenn Crowther-Wilkinson: Actually Chinese people have no problem saying “yes” or “no” when it is appropriate. It is far more contextual and relationship based than most Westerners can understand.
Sean Upton-McLaughlin 马培善: Glenn, thanks for commenting. I agree that context plays a big role in determining when the Chinese want to (or feel they can) say yes or no. Knowing the “methods” the Chinese use to do this is only the first step as you suggest. Only after time spent among the Chinese does it become more obvious which methods are suitable for specific times or individuals.
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